electrolux appliances: IT’S WHAT I’D COOK IF I COOKED.

Recently, I’ve noticed an outcropping of commercials for Electrolux, a Swedish company, which for the past few years has been attempting to save it’s faltering global image, and which launched an advertising campaign this April, introducing its new line of products to the US. If you have not yet experienced the glory that is manifested in these ads, they feature Kelly Ripa, a day-time soap star, who co-hosted the Regis and Kathy Lee show for a stint. Yet I shall continue, lest I digress.
The first two commercials are generically bland—showing the “perky” chested Kelly Ripa entertaining as all good American trophy wifes should—trotting around in jeans and heels, making pizzas and ribs at the same time, washing stemware, and, true to the ways of the past, high-fiving small children and dogs! Truly, the glory lurks in the third commercial in the series, dubiously dubbed, “The Cupcake Queen.”
Ah, The Cupcake Queen—apparently a self-made woman. The scene opens, pert Ripa clacking away in a clearly expensive, New York high rise, shiny Electrolux appliances shimmering and twinkling in the moonlit kitchen. “Just because a woman is single doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand the right appliances can help you find your McHottie.” Okay, fair enough. Computer, telephones, and possible Xerox machines have all helped some find their “McHottie” (don’t pretend you don’t remember that last office Christmas party…you know, the one where you wore that short skirt and they ran out of chairs so there was no where else to sit…).
The camera then cuts to Busty Betty and her burgundy buddy, downing goblets of wine in a modern (yet classic) living room. “The Cupcake Queen. She’s in a position in life that’s a single woman’s fantasy!” I’ll buy that. I would love to be able to afford an overpriced, finely stocked condo. Really, who wouldn’t! To all self-made women, I tip my hat! But wait, there’s more!
Dulcet tones ring out from above–Hark, what’s that I hear? The doorbell!–and off dashes the rosy host. Coyly, she opens the door to find–A STRANGE MAN SHOVING A PLATE IN HER FACE. No words are exchanged as our daring doll dashes off-scene, only to return seconds later with an oversized cupcake in hand. “She lives in a building filled with hot guys…[insert clips of random shirtless men with plates]…and they ALLLL have a thing for her cupcakes.” Forget the fact that this immensely attractive woman is single, living in an overpriced, well-furnished flat. BITCH HAS A DOUBLE-CAPACITY-ELECTROLUX-WALL-OVEN, anndddd she can bake. Until she purchased that oven, she was unemployed. True story. I was there.
Oh, but it’s not over yet! It’s now chipper Kelly’s turn to answer the door, while our hesitant heroine takes a much deserved break. “So you see,” Kelly knowingly informs us, “if you have the right appliances, they’ll be after your cupcakes all night long.” The door opens, and…enter the dumpy delivery boy. Clearly peeved, Kelly snatches the clipboard from his outstretched hand and glares menacingly at her chuckling friend. Oh Ripa, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.

Since Electrolux is a stingy bastard, they won’t allow anyone to embed, so to truly experience the glory, you’ll have to click HERE.