boot in your ass.

Homemade tortillas (homegrown veggies)

Fourth of July spurred a lot of magical jokes, including Ernest Goes to Concentration Camp (look for it next summer at your favorite theatre!).

Carne Asada for food–you know, the normal 4th selection.

Followed by an epic badminton tourney (we didn’t have enough badminton rackets, so we used the awesome tennis rackets as well).

Blockus and…other things were also popular.

flamingoed

I recently moved into my new house and started working…a lot.  The other night I came home from work and was greeted by…a flock of flamingos!  Their beady, glass eyes glimmered in the moonlight as I stumbled through the field of flamingos.  Ah, those glorious, beaked beauties.

The Conservatory also got a new sign in the bathroom after someone decided to leave treats in it.

The Old Sign:

The New Addition:

electrolux appliances: IT’S WHAT I’D COOK IF I COOKED.

Recently, I’ve noticed an outcropping of commercials for Electrolux, a Swedish company, which for the past few years has been attempting to save it’s faltering global image, and which launched an advertising campaign this April, introducing its new line of products to the US. If you have not yet experienced the glory that is manifested in these ads, they feature Kelly Ripa, a day-time soap star, who co-hosted the Regis and Kathy Lee show for a stint. Yet I shall continue, lest I digress.
The first two commercials are generically bland—showing the “perky” chested Kelly Ripa entertaining as all good American trophy wifes should—trotting around in jeans and heels, making pizzas and ribs at the same time, washing stemware, and, true to the ways of the past, high-fiving small children and dogs! Truly, the glory lurks in the third commercial in the series, dubiously dubbed, “The Cupcake Queen.”
Ah, The Cupcake Queen—apparently a self-made woman. The scene opens, pert Ripa clacking away in a clearly expensive, New York high rise, shiny Electrolux appliances shimmering and twinkling in the moonlit kitchen. “Just because a woman is single doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand the right appliances can help you find your McHottie.” Okay, fair enough. Computer, telephones, and possible Xerox machines have all helped some find their “McHottie” (don’t pretend you don’t remember that last office Christmas party…you know, the one where you wore that short skirt and they ran out of chairs so there was no where else to sit…).
The camera then cuts to Busty Betty and her burgundy buddy, downing goblets of wine in a modern (yet classic) living room. “The Cupcake Queen. She’s in a position in life that’s a single woman’s fantasy!” I’ll buy that. I would love to be able to afford an overpriced, finely stocked condo. Really, who wouldn’t! To all self-made women, I tip my hat! But wait, there’s more!
Dulcet tones ring out from above–Hark, what’s that I hear? The doorbell!–and off dashes the rosy host. Coyly, she opens the door to find–A STRANGE MAN SHOVING A PLATE IN HER FACE. No words are exchanged as our daring doll dashes off-scene, only to return seconds later with an oversized cupcake in hand. “She lives in a building filled with hot guys…[insert clips of random shirtless men with plates]…and they ALLLL have a thing for her cupcakes.” Forget the fact that this immensely attractive woman is single, living in an overpriced, well-furnished flat. BITCH HAS A DOUBLE-CAPACITY-ELECTROLUX-WALL-OVEN, anndddd she can bake. Until she purchased that oven, she was unemployed. True story. I was there.
Oh, but it’s not over yet! It’s now chipper Kelly’s turn to answer the door, while our hesitant heroine takes a much deserved break. “So you see,” Kelly knowingly informs us, “if you have the right appliances, they’ll be after your cupcakes all night long.” The door opens, and…enter the dumpy delivery boy. Clearly peeved, Kelly snatches the clipboard from his outstretched hand and glares menacingly at her chuckling friend. Oh Ripa, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.

Since Electrolux is a stingy bastard, they won’t allow anyone to embed, so to truly experience the glory, you’ll have to click HERE.

Photos from San Diego trip

Set Here.

Mommy was an orator, Daddy was a philanthropist.

“Recent polls have shown 1/5 of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so, because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, our education over here, in the U.S., should help the U.S. , or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, and so we will be able to build up our future for our children.”

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Garage Band–Gipi

From Italian artist, Gipi, comes a subtle masterpiece. The understated linework and muted watercolors lend themselves beautifully to the story, which deals with the complex composition of human interactions and emotions.

The book is separated into four canzoni, which translates to song in Italian. Each canzone works to heighten attachment to the characters, and reveals strange aspects of their person.

The characters’ paths are noticeably notched out in the beginning of the work, and we see them struggle to rise out of, or sink deeper into, their chosen venues. Each character is faced with a separate, yet intertwined struggle, as the reader experiences the corrosive and healing qualities of a group mentality.

“He’s still obsessed with death and fatal illnesses. But now he has music too…and I didn’t want him to get miserable again.”

Read sample pages at firstsecond’s site.

Fables Panel

Today we went back to the convention center to see the Fables panel, and to take photos with various Lego statues.  Hopefully some of the photos will be free-and-clear of babies heads and smiling children.  I hate smiling children.

At the Fables panel they handed out a “secret” page, by Bill Willingham and Matt Sturges, featuring Babe the Miniature Blue Ox.  Poor Babe is easy to ship.  There is a limited number of prints (around 309?), which are signed, but not numbered.  I suspect many will be placed on Ebay within a matter of hours (Comic-Con 2007 officially ends this afternoon, so the nerds will try to flip this shit rather fast). 

Matt Sturges makes me swoon.  I do love monster tall men with nerdy, little glasses.

Fortress of Solitude!

Comic-Con:  Day 4

 Today was probably the best day of Comic-con so far, strictly because the main floor was avoided for most of the day.

Yesterday I had some select Hernandez pieces signed–Gilbert seemed a little suprised that I brought in “Birdland” (porno).  “It pays to read comics.”

Paul Pope seems to be very self-centered, as I imagined he would be.  It doesn’t detract from the fact that his work is still wonderful; and besides, he isn’t a dick about it. 

Ashley Wood was nothing as I imagined him to be.  He was very…big.  I had pictured him a small, timid fellow, yet he turned out burly, with a strange, deep voice. 

Jeffrey Brown is still dreamy, yet very awkward and shy.  My knees were knocking as I tossed my comic at him to sign (so maybe not really). 

The panels today were very good.  I went to the ONI press, Paul Pope, Futurama, Film Crew, Sarah Silverman, and Warren Ellis.  The Film Crew panel was by far my favorite.  They showed clips from their new films (coming out in August!), which were very well done (as far as I can tell from the five minute clip of each).   The audience needs to learn that trying to yell witty comments over the movie will not get you a spot on the panel, and will only serve to irritate everyone else.

I’ve decided Comic-Con should have a room dedicated solely to mass-turbation.  In it would be a row of scantily clad females, wearing remains of fantasy-themed outfits, giggling and spanking each other with various weapons.  The purpose of the room would quickly be revealed, as the traffic in the lanes on the convention center floor would rapidly decrease, as all of the stalled nerds with hands wriggling in pockets would be contained in one come filled room.  Yay!

I almost forgot, Joe Matt signed his new book for me today, and I fairly think he was hitting on me!  He is the first guy at the entire convention center that has done so.  I was worried for a few days there.  Phew.

 Tomorrow pictures will be taken and beaches will be conquered.